August 27th, 2011 at 2:06AM
  • Ted: Hi Ellen. I think I want my money back.
  • Ellen: (in sad tone) I'm a failure. I'm all washed up. I tried everything, Ted. I widened the search parameters. I tweaked the program. Last night, I stood out on the street for five hours showing your photo to random pedestrians, no takers. Although this transvestite hooker said he/she would do you for half price because you kinda look like John Cusack and his/her favorite movie was Say Anything.
#ted mosby#josh radnor#camryn manheim#ellen pierce#how i met your mother
August 27th, 2011 at 2:04AM
  • Robin: How do you do this Ted? How do sit out here all night, in the cold, and still have faith that your pumpkin's going to show up?
  • Ted: Well, I'm pretty drunk. Look I know the odds are, the love of my life isn't going to magically walk through that door in a pumpkin costume at 2:43 in the morning. But it just seems as nice a spot as any to just ... you know, sit and wait
6 notes #robin scherbatsky#cobie smulders#ted mosby#josh radnor#how i met your mother
August 27th, 2011 at 2:03AM
  • Barney: (to Ted) There's a girl in your bed.
  • Marshall: And a pineapple. Am I the only one who's curious about the pineapple?
24 notes #barney stinson#neil patrick harris#marshall eriksen#jason segel#how i met your mother
August 27th, 2011 at 2:02AM
  • Carl: On the house.
  • Ted, Marshall, Lily, Robin, Barney : Whoa.
  • Carl: It's my own concoction. I call it the Red Dragon.
  • Ted, Marshall, Lily, Robin, Barney : Wow. Thanks, Carl. (Carl walks away)
  • Ted: We're not really doing shots, are we?
  • Lily: I hope not.
  • Barney: No, no.
  • Lily: These look kinda like blood.
  • Marshall: OK, I know that you've all dismissed this theory before, but is there any chance that Carl is a vampire?
  • Barney: That's ridiculous.
  • Marshall: I'm serious. Think about it. He always wears black, we never see him in the daylight, only after dark.
  • Robin: Oh my God, that does describe a vampire, or you know, a bartender. (everyone except Marshall laughs)
1 note #ted mosby#josh radnor#lily aldrin#alyson hannigan#marshall eriksen#jason segel#robin scherbatsky#cobie smulders#barney stinson#neil patrick harris#how i met your mother
August 27th, 2011 at 1:59AM
  • Ted: I better not have gotten burned. (pulls up sleeves to check his skin, notices writing on his right arm) Did any of you write that?
  • Lily: (reading what's written on Ted's arm) Hi, I'm Ted, if lost, please call. Who's number is that?
  • Ted: I don't know.
  • Marshall: Dude, call it. Hold on, I'm gonna make some popcorn.
  • (Marshall runs to kitchen then come back with bowl of popcorn)
  • Marshall: OK, you can call now. God, this is intense, I love it.
#ted mosby#josh radnor#lily aldrin#alyson hannigan#marshall eriksen#jason segel#how i met your mother
August 27th, 2011 at 1:57AM
  • Ted: Wait, you're really going out with a billionaire?
  • Robin: He's not a billionaire. He's a hundred millionaire. Why do people always round up?
  • Ted: So, uh, where's Thurston Howell taking you?
  • Robin: A charity dinner.
  • Lily: Yeah, $2000 a plate.
  • Robin: $1500, Stop rounding up! And it's for third world hunger.
  • Barney: You gonna put out?
1 note #ted mosby#josh radnor#robin scherbatsky#cobie smulders#lily aldrin#alyson hannigan#barney stinson#neil patrick harris#how i met your mother
August 27th, 2011 at 1:55AM
  • Lily: You know who might have something to say about Ted's future with Robin? Robin. Go wake her up.
  • Ted: Wake her up and say what?
  • Barney: Daddy's home.
4 notes #lily aldrin#alyson hannigan#ted mosby#josh radnor#barney stinson#neil patrick harris#how i met your mother
August 27th, 2011 at 1:52AM
  • Barney: Every Halloween, I bring a spare costume in case I strike out with the hottest girl at the party. That way I have a second chance to make a first impression. What's with the face?
  • Ted: It's half you're pathetic, half I have to pee.
1 note #barney stinson#neil patrick harris#ted mosby#josh radnor#how i met your mother
August 27th, 2011 at 1:51AM
  • Marshall: Yeah, look around. The universe is mysterious and awesome. You got the Bermuda triangle, ghosts, Big Foot.
  • Robin: Bad maps. Creaky houses. Hillbilly in a gorilla suit.
  • Marshall: Aliens? [Robin shakes her head] Oh, come one, you gotta give me aliens. Stonehenge. Area 51. There's alien crap all over the place.
  • Robin: You can't be serious.
  • Marshall: My friend, you just poked the bear.
2 notes #marshall eriksen#jason segel#robin scherbatsky#cobie smulders#how i met your mother
August 27th, 2011 at 1:50AM
  • Lily: Holy crap. We got it! What do we do with it?
  • Marshall: Calm down, I have a plan. I told my friend, Sudeep, about it. He wants to show it to the Columbia biology department. But it has to be alive.
  • Lily: Wait, no, no. They'll do lab experiments on it. That's so mean. Shouldn't we just beat it to death with a bat?
3 notes #lily aldrin#alyson hannigan#marshall eriksen#jason segel#how i met your mother